Lost

Back since Friday, seems like we never left EXCEPT for one very very important change.

Our water pressure.

Faithful readers know of our linear water lifestyle. We have now learned that due to poor pressure from Anglican water, the water in all of Leicester House is supplied via a private pumping station.  This pump sprung a leak on the night of Dec 18. On the 19th new pressure vessels were installed and water restored.  The result is much much better pressure.

Yes, we still live a linear water life.  In fact, the shower shuts off faster and even more completely when a loo is flushed.  But now the shower is a full rain not a dribble, filling a pot is not waiting for Godot, and rinsing dishes is a reasonable request.

It is the little things.

Faithful readers have commented on our seemingly wonderful and endless English adventures, a non-stop party over the pond perhaps.  Well yes -- but we have bad days too, just like you.  We get angry at bosses, friends, computers, politicians and each other.  Usual stuff.  We just don't write about it here.

Except this time---

Yesterday was Sunday so we went on a country walk. Makes perfect sense if you are English.   We reserved a car and drove to Swannington, 7 miles N of Norwich.  It is said that for right-side drivers, once you drive on the left, then go back to the right (like I did over winter break), then you can switch between them almost effortlessly. I found this to be true.

Our plan was to walk the Swannington circular walk, then go onto to the Parson Woodforde Pub.

It all started well enough.

Typical English country house

Sheep in the field.

Piggies.

Country lanes. 

Alice talking, talking, talking.

New friend

Unbeknownst to us, things were about to get weird.

Just before The Choice

We came to a fork in the path.

Which way should we go?

After lots of map discussion, looking round, estimating and guesstimating, we chose the path on the right.

Things looked ok for a while.  We saw other people, a car or two. Passed a house even (deserted, naturally). Soon the landscape turned strange.

A bit too tended. The air was quiet.  We flushed a large bird.  The trail narrowed.  Hunter shots echo in the distance.







We. Are. Lost.

We begin to fear trolls and organ harvesters.

I stride forward boldly. Cross the creek and search about for any signs of a path. Hunter shots echo in the distance. Tape is strung between the trees, strange in a Beautiful Mind kind of way.  The ground is mushy.  Stickers and brambles abound. Hunter shots echo in the distance.  Eric stands by Alice.

Alice wants No Part Of This. She reminds us every 30 seconds: if you had followed my suggestions, we'd be at the car by now.   This is really stupid.  You are really stupid.  We are going to be shot.

Alice keeps it together.

She is mightily pissed off at her parents.  With reason.  But we were not about to give that up. She starts to cry, then both contacts fall out at the same time.  She cannot see. In an effort to calm her down, I ask her to look at me.  "I can't you idiot!  I can't see."  Oh, right.  Stupid me.  Hunter shots echo in the distance.

Listen carefully.  At the end, you can hear that voice of reason reminding us of what could have been...








The terrain is mystifyingly challenging. The open field is one steep ditch away. The ground is uneven and full of surprise holes and pockets of water. Fences spring up.  Hunter shots echo in the distance.  After 45 minutes of "this is so stupid, had you listened to me, you are stupid, we are going to be shot" we came across a small yellow arrow.

This yellow arrow led to more yellow arrows, which led to yellow dots, then pink dots, then, ahead in the distance, a National Wildlife Trust Trail sign.  Woohoo.

But we are not out of the woods (ha ha) yet. We have to cross the Upgate Common, a swamp with tall grass and lots and lots of horse poop.  My advice to "walk fast" and "stay on top of the grass" does no good.  I am still stupid and had we listened to her....the only positive here was that there was a group of people to our left burning things. What and why I do not know.  Their presence gave some hope that we would not be shot.

30 minutes later we were at the car. 15 minutes later at the pub ordering up toad in the hole and fish & chips.

All is forgiven

After food and assiduous map-studying, we realized that we should have taken the path on the left. Mr Frost was correct.


Onwards.